


Everywhere

by barbossa2319



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Heavy Alcohol Consumption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:01:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25916260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbossa2319/pseuds/barbossa2319
Relationships: CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Everywhere

Three months have passed since your boyfriend’s death and you knew that things weren’t getting any better for you. Especially working for the army, in an environment where everywhere you look, be it his brothers, his bunk, your own room, an ARC Trooper who almost mirrored his armor—you saw Fives everywhere. It was tearing you apart.

And you weren’t getting better, accepting his death. Hell, they wouldn’t let you see his body. They left nothing of him to you; not even a piece of his armor, which was most likely scrapped by someone on Kamino as told by Rex.

Rex. He was the only one who told you in person. He watched you fall apart at the news, kneeling on the floor with you as you screamed out to him over why they had to take Fives from you. The captain tried his best comfort you, but in that moment you didn’t want to look at him. It wasn’t fair for you to run him out you realized days after that encounter. After all, Fives was his brother. He was hurting just as much as you were.

You’ve spoken to him occasionally since you got back from leave, but the encounters were always cautious. There was something he wasn’t telling you. You didn’t believe the stories they were saying about Fives. How he went rogue or insane due to the virus that killed Tup. No. You weren’t buying it. Yet every time you brought it up or started to ask more questions, it’s like Rex would close himself up.

You couldn’t be here anymore, which is why you're here now resigning from the army, turning in your uniform—along with some other items, to your commanding officer in the process. You felt nothing by doing it. No remorse, no regret. You just walked in and out with a hollow feeling in your chest, not registering a voice calling your name.

You felt a hand on your shoulder stopping you from walking any farther. Turning around, you saw Rex looking to you with that same pitiful expression.

“You’re leaving?” he asked, confusion laced in his voice.

You nodded, staring at the floor.

“I can’t do this anymore,” you voiced defeatedly, folding your arms. All the while, you tried making eye contact with the Captain’s eyes which clearly showcased his disappointment. “Working here, it’s uh…” You grew silent.

He rested a hand on your arm as if coaxing you to continue.

“It’s not working out,” you finally spat out. “I need to pack up and leave tomorrow morning so…”

“(Y/N).” You couldn’t help but listen to the way he says your name, an underlying hint of moroseness. “I know this is hard, getting over _him_ ,—”

You chuckled humorlessly at him, surprising yourself by doing so. “‘Hard’ doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel Rex.” You swallowed back the lump in your throat before continuing. “It’s agony here. I feel like I can’t move forward, like there’s no closure.”

“No closure?” reiterated Rex. “I told you everything that happened that night.”

You shook your head slowly. “You’re lying to me Rex.”

He opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off.

“Something tells me that Fives ‘going rogue’ had nothing to do with his death,” you said resentfully. “And it’s clear you don’t want to tell me the entire truth.”

And with that, you brushed past him, not letting him get the chance to catch up to you in your hastiness to go and lock yourself in your army issued room.

You sagged against the door, pinching the bridge of your nose from the pent up anger and frustration billowing inside your mind. You closed your eyes and inhale through your nose then exhale from your mouth.

Inhale. Exhale.

You did this for about three minutes then stopped, feeling your head begin to focus and clear itself from your interaction with Rex.

_What did you need to do again?_

You looked around at the mess which was your room.

 _Oh, right_. _Packing_. You needed to start packing and cleaning up the place for the next occupant who will take this room. No doubt your replacement as a new deck officer too.

The space in this room wasn’t particularly huge, but it was comfortable and it had everything you needed. What’s nice is that you didn’t have a whole lot to take with you. Just your clothes along with some personal items you were allowed to take with you when you transferred to the army. Opening your suitcase, you started taking your clothes and shoes out of your closet. Once that was taken care of, you start cleaning around the room. Cleaning out the refresher, your small kitchenette, the floors; all of it.

Good. The task made you feel slightly better about leaving behind the life you had here. When you’re sure you everything scrubbed clean and the trash thrown out, you slumped onto your bed and sighed heavily.

You reached for your data pad on your night-stand, then groaned. _Kriff_. You forgot to clean out the nightstand too. It wasn’t much since it was just a small drawer you had to clean out so it wouldn’t take long.

Rummaging blindly, you took out pieces of flimsi. Unimportant, you thought as you analyzed them, then tossed them into the trash. The last thing you take out of there brought a stab to your heart.

It’s his DC-17. He gifted it to you that day he left to go on a mission.

You let out a shaky breath. Ironic, wasn’t it? That the one thing you had left of Fives was what took the shot to his chest. What took him away from you.

You let the blaster clatter to the floor, shoulders shaking uncontrollably from the silent sobs that emitted from your mouth. The wounds from your heartreopened as you sank to the floor, knees drawn to your chest, as the tears and grief cascade for the umpteenth time.

Why did he have to die? You hadn’t given him a proper goodbye when he left Ringo Vinda, not knowing it was the last time you would.

“Why?” you whimpered pathetically to no one, breathing raggedly against the foot of your bed. You stayed crouched like that for a while.

Okay.

You breathed in.

Enough of this.

You’re tired of doing the same thing almost every day.

Using your shirt, you cleaned up your face and tried to get up, staggering from the lightheadedness from crying so much.

You were tired and you wanted to forget, to do something. To numb _this_.

Walking to your kitchenette, you opened your mini fridge and took the only thing that still remained there: a bottle of Chandrilan raava. It was almost halfway empty. Still enough to do the job. Plus, you were leaving so you might as well finish it all now, you thought to yourself as you, brought it to your bed.

You turned on your own personal datapad and flicked through the holonet, searching to put on a movie or something. You settled for a random documentary; you didn’t bother to see what it was. Propping the datapad on a pillow, you took a long swig from the bottle letting the alcohol burn down your throat. You grimaced at the taste at first but soon got over it and let the booze run its course.

You took a sip while watching the images on the screen bleakly, then took another sip. Then another, and another…and another…

Your eyes drooped and you let them rest.

A pair of lips began to kiss a trail from the corner of your mouth down to your neck playfully. You giggled at the sensation cracking your eye open to peer up at him. At Fives.

“There’s that pretty smile,” he said with that cheeky grin of his. He shifted to lay behind placing a kiss to the back of your neck before tucking your head beneath his chin. “Mind if I join you.”

You clasped your hand over his bringing it to your chest. “Of course.”

“What are you watching anyway?” he asked after a beat of silence, he nuzzled his goatee into your neck making you squeal.

“Stop it!” You pushed his face away while laughing wholeheartedly. You turned to face him and smiled. “I have no idea what I’m watching honestly.”

He watched you for a moment then hovered over to kiss you tenderly. You sighed into his mouth, kissing him back while tangling your fingers through his dark hair and bringing his head in forward to deepen the kiss. He groaned in response at the feeling and your heart is pounding erratically at what’s happening.

Stars, how you missed this. Missed the feeling of his warm lips and his strong arms wrapped around you. You didn’t want to stop, kissing him frantically. Fives was here and you weren’t letting him go.

His tongue brushed against your teeth in silent permission and you part your mouth to let him taste you. You shuddered when he licked into your mouth and gripped at his back.

“You’ve been drinking,” he mumbled into your mouth.

You tugged at his bottom lip and broke away from his lips. “Want some?” You reached behind for the bottle only to see it empty.

“Nevermind,” you chuckled breathlessly, lying back down.

Fives moved to take the bottle from you to set it by your bedside table. “You don’t need it (Y/N).”

Your hands brushed along the planes and of his face, observing the way the light catches those beautiful golden-brown eyes, his dark brows, that sharp nose you love so much, his neatly trimmed goatee; you seared his face to your mind. Soon, fresh hot tears leaked out from the corners of your eyes as you gaze at your lover.

“Hey,” he whispered, brushing the tears away with his thumb. “What’s the matter, _cyare_?”

You traced a finger over his tattoo placed over his right temple, trying to form a sentence.

“I miss you everyday Fives…” you said hoarsely, your bottom lip quivering. “Every waking day.”

Fives bumped his forehead against yours. “But I’m here now.”

“No…” you shook your head at him. “You’re gone.”

He was staring at you with a blank expression. It startled you the way his demeanor changed after saying that.

“I’m not gone,” he relayed, tapping your temple with his finger. “Not in there I’m not.”

You smacked his hand away from your face in hurt and moved to sit up at the end of your bed, hugging your arms to yourself.

“I don’t know why I can’t move on from you,” the words tumbled out of your mouth in a cry. “I try, but you’re everywhere Fives!”

You didn’t hear him come near you nor did you flinch when he hugged you from behind.

“You have to,” he murmured into your ear. “You must leave me behind love. It’s not healthy for you to be reminiscing about me.”

“How?” you trembled beneath his touch. “Tell me, how do I move on from you?” Your chest began to heave in more sobs. “I love you, Fives…”

You heard a loud banging coming from the walls.

You turned around to look at Fives questioningly. He was smiling at you before brushing a finger along your cheek.

“You’ll see how,” was all he said, then he kissed you.

The banging noise grew louder and you shot up in fright from your sleep with a gasp.

You looked around the room disoriented from your dream. _What the hell was that?_

The empty bottle was still clutched in your hand and you set it aside.

Wait. _What time was it?_

You snatched up your data pad from the bed to check the time.

0900.

 _Oh god!_ You were supposed to be long gone hours ago.

The banging, you found out, came from the door.

You stumbled out of bed almost falling over from the dizziness that clouded your head. Your foot stepped on the DC-17 blaster you left overnight, a reminder of what happened last night.

The knocking continued and you huffed taking the blaster and shoving it down your back pocket.

You opened the door and met the eyes of a bewildered Rex.

“Oh, Rex,” you said faintly. “Something wrong?”

You must’ve looked like such a damn disaster, no doubt reeking of booze based on the way he’s staring at you.

He got over his initial shock then cleared his throat.

“We need to talk.”


End file.
